Sunday, March 31, 2013

And then my trials seemed small...

Just as I was feeling super sorry for me and all I was dealing with, the day after I miscarried to be exact, my brother Justin was diagnosed with a brain tumor. A BRAIN TUMOR! My trails then seemed small. This was my brother, a husband, a daddy. My "poor me syndrome" stopped and my focus immediately turned to him and his family. What a scary scary diagnosis. He had been having slight balance and vision issues that he had dealt with for a couple years and decided to have it looked into. It was a tumor, the size of a lemon, in the back of his head. I saw the fear in his eyes, Tessa's, and the heartache of the unknown.
We all live together right now. Justin, Tessa, Brad, me and our children. I have watched him struggle through brain surgery, twice, while 7 month pregnant Tessa stood by his side. My parents came out and were with him 24/7 at the hospital for days and days. Luckily, this is all hindsight now and the tumor has been removed, it was non-cancerous, and thing are looking promising. It was amazing to see prayers, faith, and blessings happen over this difficult time. Really, really amazing.
I think I am doing better with my heartache. I pushed aside all my emotions when this happened and I think time helped heal. I still breakdown occasionally. How far along I would be now, what sex the baby was, etc. All I've ever wanted is to be a mom, and I sure do love the three blessing I do have. I hope and pray there are is another one (or more?) sweet spirits waiting to come to our little family. My prayers continue...

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