Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Candid Camera?

Does anyone still check this thing? Seriously? I'm curious to know.
Well, whether I am writing to someone, or just to my 'vintage' computer,...I'm back. I promise. I know, I know,....I've been M.I.A., but I have a totally legit excuse. I have been recooperating. So. THERE.

I am fairly positive that there is a candid camera that follows my little family around whenever we go out in public. If there isn't,...there should be. I'm convinced someone could make good money by making a reality show of how ridiculous we look,...especially in airports.
Which leads me to my story. Picture this: We park our car in a hurry to fly from Jackson Hole WY to Atlanta. {Why Jackson Hole? Cheapest airline tickets and sorta close to Blackfoot} Long term parking in Jackson Hole isn't exactly covered, so we make due as we start unpacking our car in a slick snowpacked parking lot. I grab the both of the twins, and both their carseats. Then I pick up the overflowing diaper bag. {Thinking, 'WOW,...I've got my hands full'}. Brad throws Noah's honking huge carseat on his back, Grabs his laptop, our Four overflowing Carry-Ons, and Noah. We look at eachother! We still have THREE 50 lb bags to roll to the airport and check. By some miracle we rearrange and start dragging it all to the terminal. {Noah is incharge of one large rolling carryon}. 'WAIT! Unlock the Car, we need everyone's Coats!' -People are laughing {nicely} and offering help as they see our mess. Somehow we make it to Atlanta in one piece.

Fast Forward 9 Days. This is when the story really gets good. On our way home. {I can't help but sit here and shake my head as I type this}...We arrive at the Atlanta airport having a better 'game plan'. (By the way,...the Atlanta Airport is HUGE!) I wait in the car while Brad checks our big bags curbside. Flawless. Whew! Then it happens. We start checking in. Again, I have two babies {one in each arm} and my overflowing diaper bag (with extra Christmas presents shuved in). Brad has the honking car seat on his back, Noah, his laptop, and 4 large carry-ons. We get our tickets that we all must individually hold. We get in the security line that is a good 20 minutes long. We are slowly moving forward and dropping our armfuls every 30 seconds to grab our 2 year old that is darting under the stretchy elastic line barriers. Again, drop our heavy bags, catch our escaping two year old. REPEAT. REPEAT. REPEAT. We finally arrive at security and I start removing everyones shoes, coats, etc and notice my ticket stub has been detached from my ticket and Chloe has sucked on it 'til soggy and barely legible. We get through. We glance down and see our tickets say GATE B-1! WHOOHOO! It's a flippin' Miracle! We always get B-79 or something! Never B-1! Excited we drag our Entrouge to Concorse B only to find out the Atlanta airport seems to be the only airport in America that has their gates in decending order. {UGH!} Running quite behind we try to dash down 79 gates to make our flight. Some nice couple assist us out of pure sympathy. Sweating, shaking from carrying so much weight, and almost in tears, we finally sit down in our assigned seats. Brad has the twins in one row. I have my whining two year old in my row. Brad and I glance at each other. We read eachothers minds. NEVER AGAIN. We think its over. {Mwahh ha ha ha ha,....that was a scary evil laugh}. -I take a deep breath and hand my cranky whiny two year old a full canister of those baby edible puff things. Ya. The ones with a count of 400 pieces. You know which ones I'm talking about. 3 seconds later, Noah errupts. Every last puff is flying through the air landing on him, me, and everyone else around us. I close my eyes knowing this isn't really happening. We taxi for close to an hour. Looking at the mess around me I decide I should try to clean it up. I walk to the back of the plane to ask the stewardess for a bag to clean up the 400 puffs. She looks at me annoyed. {Yes we had one of "those" stewardess. Like a Robot she starts her speech,"PLEASE RETURN TO YOUR SEAT WITH YOUR SEATBELT SECURILY FASTENED. IT IS NOT SAFE TO WALK AROUND THE AIRCRAFT...BLAH BLAH BLAH". {Seriously, we haven't moved for like 15 minutes}. Noah is whining non-stop. We finally are airborne. The beep goes off that approves electronic devices! Whew! I whip out the laptop to set up a movie for Noah to entertain him.
-"Whats that you say?!" Oh, funny you should ask! That is a picture of Noah's disassembled headphones. 3 minutes into his Movie, Noah decided to bite his headphones in two. Lovely. We no longer have entertainment for the rest of our 4 hour flight. LO-VE-LY.
Frustrated I look over to Brad who is holding both babies. He hands me Sophie and says, "Chloe has been poopy for a while, I need to go try to change her in the bathroom". {YES THE AIRPORT BATHROOM THAT IS 2'x2'} He stands up. {GASP}. She has had a poo blowout all the way up her back. {Of course in my overflowing diaper bag I do NOT have an extra onesie}. My eyes get bigger! Brad's white shirt is covered in yellow poo! It had leaked through her back and all over his stomach! {No this story is not made up}. Brad manages to somehow sit on a bathroom toilet, use his legs as a changing table, changes Chloe, and attemps to clean up the both of them the best possible. The flight continues this way...Noah never falls asleep. We arrive in JacksonHole.

NOT OVER YET! {Mwah, ha ha ha,...evil scary laugh again}. We wait until every last person gets off the plane before attempting to move our family. I stand up and look at the onces cereal puffs, now turned smooshed into the carpet crumbs and decided I should ask for a hand vaccuum to help clean up. The same mean stewardess fake smiles, "We do not carry VACCUUMS on airplanes". Whatever. I leave the crumbs and step on a few extra pieces just for her. ;) We get off the plane on the slippery steps that lead to an icy path that leads to the airport. I stay with the girls and all of our carry-ons while Brad and Noah go to retrieve the car in longterm parking. I wait, and wait, and wait. Brad isn't answering his cell phone. I notice our checked baggage going round and round the luggage belt. Another airplane arrives and more luggage is coming. With 40 people standing around waiting for their bags I decide I must act. But How. I look around and see and industrial luggage mover. The ones made especially for airport staff. It's mine. I somehow manage to get all of our carryons on it, grab one baby in each arm, and use my elbows to move the airports cart forward. A path clears and people notice me. I push it up to the belt, set my twins on it, and start grabbing our checked bags. Two kind women realize how embarrassed I am and help me get things situated. "Let us help you get where you need to go. Do you have anyone here to help?" {BRAD! WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU}. They help push my stuff to the front gate of the airport. FINALLY I see Brad. A little miffed, I ask, "where have you been?" "Oh" he replies,.."Let me just tell you"! He goes on to tell me what happened to him. He had headed toward longterm parking with Noah and his carseat in freezing temperatures to find our car covered in mega snow. Noah is whining, "I cold Daddy, I cold!" Brad is quickly trying to install Noah's carseat and he looks up. He thinks "What in the world is this sticky stuff all over the ceiling of our car?!" He looks down to the cupholders. Two 24 ounce RockStar Sodas, Unopened, had frozen and exploded all over our car. -UGH! This couldn't get any worse. He hops in the car to start it up and warm up our freezing 2 year old. DEAD BATTERY. Of course. Our 2 year old is crying of coldness. A creepy taxi driver notices Brad's circumstances and offers to let Noah sit in his warm taxi. Brad thinks 'Creepy Taxi Driver, Warm Car'....SURE, WHAT THE HECK. Brad gets the car jumped, grabs Noah who is sadder than sad, tears rolling down his face (thinking his dad has abandoned him). He finally picks me up. Noah fell asleep immediately.

The. End.
{Not embellished}.


So, that is what I have been recooperating from. -Other than the days we traveled, we had a wonderful time with Brad's family in GA. Being away from home came with its challenges, but we created some memories we will cherish forever. We spent 4 days in Blackfoot with my family, followed by 9 days in Georgia with Brad's family. From sledding behind the truck to jumping in a oversized bouncy house in Don' backyard,...Christmas was just the way it should be. Spent with family. I took a bijillion pictures. Here are just a few quick highlights.

Celebrating in Idaho...
Harmony {my cousin at The Photography Boutique} took this gorgeous McKinlay family picture.
Celebrating in Georgia....
The Whole Coates Family!

Yes that is me playing the flute. AND BRAD playing the trumpet. Coates family tradition! It's pretty hilarious (and I admit, kinda fun). Yep,..that is a bouncy house! Rented for the kids (or was it the adults). Thanks Don! :)


And again,...I'm back. I promise! :)

23 comments:

  1. Yes, I check it everyday. And I was wondering when you were ever going to post again! jk Your story is hilarious. You should have had a candid camera following you. You would have won America's Funniest Home Videos!

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  2. Oh my goodness!!! I can't even believe it! I'm glad you all survived and are home safe! At least you have it written down now so you will never forget, and SOMEDAY you will be able to laugh about it all. Your kids Christmas pajamas are the cutest ever! Where did you find them? I'm glad you found some enjoyment during the holidays, even with all of the craziness! I'm glad you're back, so you can keep us updated on your blog! You always make me smile! : )

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  3. Yep.. thats it. I officially hate you Mmmm Hmmmm

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  4. It sounds like you had quite the adventure!! We are all glad you made it home safely. I love seeing your blog and seeing all yoru great ideas and how creative you are. Also love HowdoesShe. You are amazing doing all you do.

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  5. oh man... no wonder you had to recooperate!!! I hate any kind of traveling with just one child. You are a brave BRAVE woman ;) poor Brad and the baby poop. lol,

    I have to admit i laughed through the entire story.

    all the pictures are so adorable. It looks like Georgia had great weather! Glad you had a good Christmas. I've missed reading your blog!

    and just wondering.. where do you get all your cute baby clothes???

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  6. Yes!!! I check ALL THE TIME!!! I've been wondering where the heck you've been, and now I know!
    I thought I had it bad this last time I traveled with all three kids by myself. Delayed planes, cranky kids, and yes...the DREADED DEAD CAR BATTERY! But you one-upped me (or 4 upped me)!! I'm glad you survived!
    It's so good to have you back here!

    Happy 8 month birthday to those precious girls!

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  7. WOW!! That is such a memory I'm sure you both will NEVER forget!! I love the part of your hubby getting pooped on! What a trooper my husband probably would have thrown up ;) Glad you still managed to enjoy your holidays! And yes I have still been checking your blog!! Your baby girls are getting so big!!

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  8. Yay! I'm glad you're back! How is it that I've known you for over 5 years and I'm just learning you play the flute?? That is awesome!

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  9. Oh man Shelley! You deserve a supermom award!! I remember having moments like that when my twins were around 8 months, the first time we flew with them, oh it was a nightmare!!! Glad you guys are back safe!!! Take care and your girls are sooooo so so cute!! I wanna squeeze them!!

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  10. I vowed never to fly by myself with only Tyler. I know you had Brad with you, but that is still more than two parent's should have to handle. I'm glad you are all safe, home and recovering from such an ordeal.

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  11. Still checking and always love your updates! Hey, I am a slacker too, and it is my resolution to keep up with blogging! Love all your pics of your cute fam!

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  12. OH Shelly... so you need to know that I'm totally having one of those days- you know those days where you are literally going to cry at any given second due to extreme emotional and mental stess. Yeah, one of those days. I haven't gotten more than 6 hours of sleep in the last 4 days. (Marlee + teething & ear infections = sleep deprivation for me)! Top that off with Maggie cutting her two year molers and becoming the grouchiest, whyniest toddler I've ever met in my life. Literally crying ALL DAY, for no reason! and totally relapsing with her potty training. (Im talking MULTIPLE public humiliating accidents this past week!) And finally the cherry, Im dog sitting for my inlaws... which to put it lightly, Im NOT a dog person. Im not an indoor animal/pet kind of person period! and this dog- NOT house trained! AT ALL. So yes, my carpet- or should I say my entire house at this point (it's going on 6 days w/him now) is reaking of dog pee! Im beyond frustrated! about an hour ago I totally snapped- threw both the girls in there cribs- threw the dog outside- and just started baling! Picked up the phone to call Ryan, to tell him he needed to come home asap, cause I was having a total melt down. But instead, I poured myself a drink, took a few minutes, decided I'd go check my blog, see if anyone left me and sweet comments to make myself feel better. I see that you updated... cut to 5 minutes later and my tears of frustration turn to tears of sheer uncontrolable laughter and empathy for your post!!! I can't tell you how much that totally just turned my entire being around. I can so relate! Im also attempting to fly back to Idaho by myself in April with BOTH the girls... umm, yeah- that should be a real treat right!?! Ugh, anyway, sorry for the novel, I just had to vent, and I just wanted to tell you how much you and your little family cheered me up today! Maybe that all happened to you just for me! LOL. Either way, Im so sorry, about that- and Im so glad you took the time to post about it!

    xoxo stef

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  13. Oh my word!?!?!?! You poor thing! I knew something must have been wrong, I couldn't beleive you hadn't posted for a while. You are like my Blog Hero! I thought crap if Shelly isn't blogging this whole thing will go downhill! LOL ;)You were missed! The girls dresses are darling! glad you made it back okay. :)

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  14. You always crack me up! Seriously that story made my day. Probably will be awhile till you can laugh about it.. You kids are such cuties!

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  15. I check it often and enjoy each entry:)
    Sherry Waldrop
    (Dianne's friend)

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  16. I love that story, it made me laugh! I probable liked it so much because it happened to you and not me though! I'm glad you guys had a fun Christmas and your flying days are hopefully over for a little bit :)

    Cute pics!!!

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  17. Shel~ Is is terrible that I can't stop laughing?! Not because this story is funny in any way, but because is ALL happened! I cannot even imagine. I seriously think I would have just started house hunting in Georgia because I wouldn't be able to bear the thought of another plane ride... and then to find your car when you got home?! You are one in a million:)

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  18. omgosh. I just loved it. Isn't life just hillarious. Families are just like that. You will have to hire help next time you travel. Just wait until you have more kids. Fun Fun Fun.

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  19. I love it! I really needed a pick me up today and this totally did it for me! You are so brave to travel with the 3 and I am totally amazed!!!

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  20. Oh I'm so glad you are back in blogging mode. You know we are all checking this thing, you have the cutest lil family and the best stories! Can't believe the twins, they are getting so big and cuter by the day if thats possible. I know all of us moms can relate to the moment Noah got all his puffs everywhere. You kinda of just sit there and think to yourself "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" Glad you guys had such a great time with your families! Oh btw seeing your flute playing pic, brought back some memories from the good ole' band days, haha!!

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  21. I thought about you while we were in the airport this past weekend. I don't think I have EVER heard a more terrible airport nightmare story! You are awesome though for making it through...I would have been bawling. :)

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  22. OMG!! You are SOOO brave and great!! Me and my mom flew to Vegas w the twins at about 5 months old and I thought THAT was bad, and I to said NEVER again!ha!That's awesome that you guys even made it all that way!! We have went NOWHERE w the twins since Vegas! (they now stay home w my mom while me and Trav vacation)!ha!;)

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  23. Your family is so stinkin cute and I love love love the adventure you had. It blows my mind when I think of all the adventures Ty and I have had with all the kiddos. Totally different ones now - all mental and emotional instead of physical, unless you count all Miki's injuries from Guard, hehe. Oh, I need to post the latest. Keep posting and hanging in.

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