Candid Camera?

Does anyone still check this thing? Seriously? I'm curious to know.

Well, whether I am writing to someone, or just to my 'vintage' computer,...I'm back. I promise. I know, I know,....I've been M.I.A., but I have a totally legit excuse. I have been recooperating. So. THERE.

I am fairly positive that there is a candid camera that follows my little family around whenever we go out in public. If there isn't,...there should be. I'm convinced someone could make good money by making a reality show of how ridiculous we look,...especially in airports.

Which leads me to my story. Picture this: We park our car in a hurry to fly from Jackson Hole WY to Atlanta. {Why Jackson Hole? Cheapest airline tickets and sorta close to Blackfoot} Long term parking in Jackson Hole isn't exactly covered, so we make due as we start unpacking our car in a slick snowpacked parking lot. I grab the both of the twins, and both their carseats. Then I pick up the overflowing diaper bag. {Thinking, 'WOW,...I've got my hands full'}. Brad throws Noah's honking huge carseat on his back, Grabs his laptop, our Four overflowing Carry-Ons, and Noah. We look at eachother! We still have THREE 50 lb bags to roll to the airport and check. By some miracle we rearrange and start dragging it all to the terminal. {Noah is incharge of one large rolling carryon}. 'WAIT! Unlock the Car, we need everyone's Coats!' -People are laughing {nicely} and offering help as they see our mess. Somehow we make it to Atlanta in one piece.

Fast Forward 9 Days. This is when the story really gets good. On our way home. {I can't help but sit here and shake my head as I type this}...We arrive at the Atlanta airport having a better 'game plan'. (By the way,...the Atlanta Airport is HUGE!) I wait in the car while Brad checks our big bags curbside. Flawless. Whew! Then it happens. We start checking in. Again, I have two babies {one in each arm} and my overflowing diaper bag (with extra Christmas presents shuved in). Brad has the honking car seat on his back, Noah, his laptop, and 4 large carry-ons. We get our tickets that we all must individually hold. We get in the security line that is a good 20 minutes long. We are slowly moving forward and dropping our armfuls every 30 seconds to grab our 2 year old that is darting under the stretchy elastic line barriers. Again, drop our heavy bags, catch our escaping two year old. REPEAT. REPEAT. REPEAT. We finally arrive at security and I start removing everyones shoes, coats, etc and notice my ticket stub has been detached from my ticket and Chloe has sucked on it 'til soggy and barely legible. We get through. We glance down and see our tickets say GATE B-1! WHOOHOO! It's a flippin' Miracle! We always get B-79 or something! Never B-1! Excited we drag our Entrouge to Concorse B only to find out the Atlanta airport seems to be the only airport in America that has their gates in decending order. {UGH!} Running quite behind we try to dash down 79 gates to make our flight. Some nice couple assist us out of pure sympathy. Sweating, shaking from carrying so much weight, and almost in tears, we finally sit down in our assigned seats. Brad has the twins in one row. I have my whining two year old in my row. Brad and I glance at each other. We read eachothers minds. NEVER AGAIN. We think its over. {Mwahh ha ha ha ha,....that was a scary evil laugh}. -I take a deep breath and hand my cranky whiny two year old a full canister of those baby edible puff things. Ya. The ones with a count of 400 pieces. You know which ones I'm talking about. 3 seconds later, Noah errupts. Every last puff is flying through the air landing on him, me, and everyone else around us. I close my eyes knowing this isn't really happening. We taxi for close to an hour. Looking at the mess around me I decide I should try to clean it up. I walk to the back of the plane to ask the stewardess for a bag to clean up the 400 puffs. She looks at me annoyed. {Yes we had one of "those" stewardess. Like a Robot she starts her speech,"PLEASE RETURN TO YOUR SEAT WITH YOUR SEATBELT SECURILY FASTENED. IT IS NOT SAFE TO WALK AROUND THE AIRCRAFT...BLAH BLAH BLAH". {Seriously, we haven't moved for like 15 minutes}. Noah is whining non-stop. We finally are airborne. The beep goes off that approves electronic devices! Whew! I whip out the laptop to set up a movie for Noah to entertain him.

-"Whats that you say?!" Oh, funny you should ask! That is a picture of Noah's disassembled headphones. 3 minutes into his Movie, Noah decided to bite his headphones in two. Lovely. We no longer have entertainment for the rest of our 4 hour flight. LO-VE-LY.

Frustrated I look over to Brad who is holding both babies. He hands me Sophie and says, "Chloe has been poopy for a while, I need to go try to change her in the bathroom". {YES THE AIRPORT BATHROOM THAT IS 2'x2'} He stands up. {GASP}. She has had a poo blowout all the way up her back. {Of course in my overflowing diaper bag I do NOT have an extra onesie}. My eyes get bigger! Brad's white shirt is covered in yellow poo! It had leaked through her back and all over his stomach! {No this story is not made up}. Brad manages to somehow sit on a bathroom toilet, use his legs as a changing table, changes Chloe, and attemps to clean up the both of them the best possible. The flight continues this way...Noah never falls asleep. We arrive in JacksonHole.

NOT OVER YET! {Mwah, ha ha ha,...evil scary laugh again}. We wait until every last person gets off the plane before attempting to move our family. I stand up and look at the onces cereal puffs, now turned smooshed into the carpet crumbs and decided I should ask for a hand vaccuum to help clean up. The same mean stewardess fake smiles, "We do not carry VACCUUMS on airplanes". Whatever. I leave the crumbs and step on a few extra pieces just for her. ;) We get off the plane on the slippery steps that lead to an icy path that leads to the airport. I stay with the girls and all of our carry-ons while Brad and Noah go to retrieve the car in longterm parking. I wait, and wait, and wait. Brad isn't answering his cell phone. I notice our checked baggage going round and round the luggage belt. Another airplane arrives and more luggage is coming. With 40 people standing around waiting for their bags I decide I must act. But How. I look around and see and industrial luggage mover. The ones made especially for airport staff. It's mine. I somehow manage to get all of our carryons on it, grab one baby in each arm, and use my elbows to move the airports cart forward. A path clears and people notice me. I push it up to the belt, set my twins on it, and start grabbing our checked bags. Two kind women realize how embarrassed I am and help me get things situated. "Let us help you get where you need to go. Do you have anyone here to help?" {BRAD! WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU}. They help push my stuff to the front gate of the airport. FINALLY I see Brad. A little miffed, I ask, "where have you been?" "Oh" he replies,.."Let me just tell you"! He goes on to tell me what happened to him. He had headed toward longterm parking with Noah and his carseat in freezing temperatures to find our car covered in mega snow. Noah is whining, "I cold Daddy, I cold!" Brad is quickly trying to install Noah's carseat and he looks up. He thinks "What in the world is this sticky stuff all over the ceiling of our car?!" He looks down to the cupholders. Two 24 ounce RockStar Sodas, Unopened, had frozen and exploded all over our car. -UGH! This couldn't get any worse. He hops in the car to start it up and warm up our freezing 2 year old. DEAD BATTERY. Of course. Our 2 year old is crying of coldness. A creepy taxi driver notices Brad's circumstances and offers to let Noah sit in his warm taxi. Brad thinks 'Creepy Taxi Driver, Warm Car'....SURE, WHAT THE HECK. Brad gets the car jumped, grabs Noah who is sadder than sad, tears rolling down his face (thinking his dad has abandoned him). He finally picks me up. Noah fell asleep immediately.

The. End.

{Not embellished}.

So, that is what I have been recooperating from. -Other than the days we traveled, we had a wonderful time with Brad's family in GA. Being away from home came with its challenges, but we created some memories we will cherish forever. We spent 4 days in Blackfoot with my family, followed by 9 days in Georgia with Brad's family. From sledding behind the truck to jumping in a oversized bouncy house in Don' backyard,...Christmas was just the way it should be. Spent with family. I took a bijillion pictures. Here are just a few quick highlights.

Celebrating in Idaho...

Harmony {my cousin at The Photography Boutique} took this gorgeous McKinlay family picture.

Celebrating in Georgia....
The Whole Coates Family!

Yes that is me playing the flute. AND BRAD playing the trumpet. Coates family tradition! It's pretty hilarious (and I admit, kinda fun). Yep,..that is a bouncy house! Rented for the kids (or was it the adults). Thanks Don! :)

And again,...I'm back. I promise! :)